Basically an Exercise in My Favorite Subject

Learning about the history of English and the sprinkle of linguistic theory Dr. Preston added in class has been a lot of fun for me because my favorite thing to learn about is language, whether it be learning a modern one or how it came to be.

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd. Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe. "Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen
Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng. 
=
Meanwhile, back at the meadhall, Monster lurked.
Full of a few too many drinks, He was looking for a fight.
Then, Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of  Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Asked the awful jerk to step outside.  Thud! Bash! Crash! Boom!  The big guy 
Each of his bones broken, bit his nose off;
Wicked Godzilla wailed on his ass.
Monster mopped the floor with each man in the hall.
Beowulf was in the backroom making a phone call;
He heard the sound of the ruccus and said, "What the hell?"
He grabbed his strong shield and his sharp switch-blade
Stood forth to fight the grim foe.  "Me," Godzilla said, "make the mincemeat."
The quick hero got hold with his famed half-nelson
And flung him like a frisbee back to front
Beowulf belly to the meadhall's bar
Said, "No foe has beaten my fearsome kung-fu."
He ordered an ice-cold Coca-Cola, the real thing.